65 Funny Love Quotes and Funny Relationship Quotes

What would love be like without a good dose of humor? Could there even be such a thing as love without a sense of humor? It’s quite difficult to imagine living in a relationship that lacks humor. After all, laughter strengthens the relationship and makes you feel a lot closer to your significant other. Even more so, humor is what binds people together. For this reason, we’ve created a collection of funny love quotes that will put a smile on the face of your significant other. (See also: Beautiful Relationship Quotes and Wonderful Love Quotes).

There are many moments in life when it can be really helpful to have a couple of funny love quotes at hand that celebrate the amusing and humorous aspects of being in a relationship. By reading some of these fantastic quotes, you will quickly be reminded of the great importance of humor in a relationship.

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Rudner

Perhaps, you may wish to surprise your loved one with some funny love quotes that will brighten their day. Or, you may be looking for something that helps you to remember all the wonderful and funny moments you’ve experienced together.

Enjoy the following funny love quotes!

The following quotes will remind you that humor is an important aspect of each relationship. Even more so, the following funny love quotes will help you to remember that a relationship cannot exist for too long if there is no humor, amusement, and fun in it.

65 Funny Love Quotes and Funny Relationship Quotes

Here are some really funny couple quotes. Many of these funny relationship quotes will help you to remember the most beautiful and funniest moments you’ve spent with your loved one.

1. Jules Renard on hourglasses and love

„Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.“
Jules Renard

2. Jerry Seinfeld on playing chess

„Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.“
Jerry Seinfeld

3. Groucho Marx on understanding women

„Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.“
Groucho Marx

4. Cindy Garner on remembering your anniversary day

„What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.“
Cindy Garner

Celebrating the day you married your partner is a wonderful opportunity to remember all those beautiful moments the two of you enjoy together. But some people always seem to forget to celebrate this special day. A funny way to avoid this problem is, of course, to marry on your man’s birthday. That way and of you will forget your anniversary day.

If you’re looking for some inspiring quotes to celebrate your anniversary day, have a look at our collection of anniversary quotes.

5. Groucho Marx on necking

„Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.“
Groucho Marx

6. Lucille Ball on making guesses

„A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.“
Lucille Ball

7. Jack Benny on being happily married

„My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.“
Jack Benny

8. Will Ferrell on the ultimate marriage test

„Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.“
Will Ferrell

9. Nick Hornby on the future of a relationship

„It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.“
Nick Hornby

10. Garry Shandling on intimacy

„My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.“
Garry Shandling

11. Henny Youngman on the secret of a happy marriage

„Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.“
Henny Youngman

12. Woody Allen on being in love

„I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.“
Woody Allen

13. Albert Einstein on gravity

„Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love.“
Albert Einstein

14. Chris Rock on the things women need

„There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.“
Chris Rock

15. Rodney Dangerfield on being happy

„My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.“
Rodney Dangerfield

16. Nora Ephron on marriage and divorce

„Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.“
Nora Ephron

17. Chelsea Handler on being serious about a relationship

„Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.“
Chelsea Handler

18. Mindy Kaling on true love

„True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.“
Mindy Kaling

19. Lily Tomlin on love being the answer

„If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions?“
Lily Tomlin

20. Groucho Marx on marriage

„Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?“
Groucho Marx

21. Bob Ettinger on the difficulties of relationships

„Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.“
Bob Ettinger

22. Chelsea Peretti on texting

„If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.“
Chelsea Peretti

23. Robert Louis Stevenson on matrimony

„If we take matrimony at its lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognized by the police.“
Robert Louis Stevenson

24. Richard Jeni on honesty

„Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.“
Richard Jeni

25. Bill Cosby on what women want

„Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think— in a deeper voice.“
Bill Cosby

26. Richard Lewis on being in love

„When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.“
Richard Lewis

27. Agatha Christie on archaeologists

„An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.“
Agatha Christie

28. Phyllis Diller on being of similar age

„Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.“
Phyllis Diller

29. George Burns on knowing that there is love

„Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.“
George Burns

30. James Garner on marriage

„Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist.“
James Garner

31. Jerry Seinfeld on knowing how to be a good husband

„Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.“
Jerry Seinfeld

32. Helen Gurley Brown on giving off signals

„Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.“
Helen Gurley Brown

33. Friedrich Nietzsche on spectacles

„A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
Friedrich Nietzsche

34. Maria Bamford on getting married

„I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don’t wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.“
Maria Bamford

35. Norm Crosby on teenagers and love

„Teenagers don’t know what love is. They have mixed-up ideas. They go for a drive and the boy runs out of gas and they smooch a little and the girl says she loves him. That isn’t love. Love is when you are married twenty-five years, smooching in your living room and he runs out of gas and she says she still loves him. That’s love.“
Norm Crosby

36. Rob Delaney on true love

„It’s probably not love if you don’t press your face to the toilet seat after they’ve used it to feel their warmth.“
Rob Delaney

37. Socrates on getting married

„By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.“
Socrates

38. Charles Schulz on love and chocolate

„All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.“
Charles Schulz

39. Criss Jami on the fairness of life

„I will never deny that life isn’t fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.“
Criss Jami

40. Russell Brand on being promiscuous

„I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.“
Russell Brand

41. Oscar Wilde on understanding women

„Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.“
Oscar Wilde

42. Erma Bombeck on marriage and guarantees

„Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.“
Erma Bombeck

43. John Green on Venn diagrams

„The Venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.”
John Green

44. Hussein Nishah on the price tag of love

„You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.“
Hussein Nishah

45. Richard Pryor on the toughness of marriage

„Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.“
Richard Pryor

46. Joan Crawford on the fire of love

„Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.“
Joan Crawford

47. Robert Fulghum on compatibility

„When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love.“
Robert Fulghum

48. Rowland on a man’s heart

„In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.“
Helen Rowland

49. A Jewish proverb on love

„Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.“
Jewish Proverb

50. Carroll Bryant on love as a two-way street

„Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”
Carroll Bryant

51. Jackie Mason on cheating

„Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.“
Jackie Mason

52. W. Somerset on dirty tricks

„Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.“
W. Somerset Maugham

53. Mae West on loving one’s neighbor

„Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.“
Mae West

54. James Bailey on eating onions

„When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.“
James Montgomery Bailey

55. Jarod Kintz on misunderstood love

„If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.“
Jarod Kintz

56. Fran Lebowitz on staying in love

„If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.“
Fran Lebowitz

57. Nicholas Sparks on what love this

„Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.“
Nicholas Sparks

58. Helen Rowland on marriage

„Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.“
Helen Rowland

59. Judith Viorst on car accidents and other things

„Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.“
Judith Viorst

60. Leopold Fetchner on being sentimental

„My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside – Made in Taiwan!“
Leopold Fetchner

61. Franklin P. Jones on having a worthwhile ride

„Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.“
Franklin P. Jones

62. Katherine Mansfield on true love

„If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.“
Katherine Mansfield

63. Honore de Balzac on first love

„First love is a kind of vaccination which saves man from catching the complaint the second time.“
Honore de Balzac

64. Lynda Barry on exploding cigars

„Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.“
Lynda Barry

65. Mike Birbiglia on money and love

„What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math.“
Mike Birbiglia

I hope you enjoyed this collection of funny love quotes.

Stay victorious!